Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Attack of the Killer Himbos

I have a MySpace page for each of my pen names. The male name gets hit with friend requests from what I affectionately refer to as The Bimbo Whores several times a day. The same pictures come up a lot, always with a name like Fawn, Candi, or Jasmine. The girls all have the same stupid blurb about themselves. I could probably recite it verbatim by now, but I'll spare you the breathless literary style of a 50-something marketing mobster trying to sound like a 20-something hooker in heat. Part of the blurb is always this pitch: They all have sexy pictures that puritanical, mean old MySpace won't let them share with their special "friends," but if I just click on the link, I can view them. Oh Yay! May I? I know my idea of female beauty is far off the male view, but do guys really like such sleazy, plastic creatures? SPAM dude, if you want to lure me to a pay site, at least use better bait.

Until this week, my female pen name has been spared from that SPAM, but it couldn't last. Suddenly, every himbo on the face of the planet wants to be my friend. First off, Spammers, change the sales pitch. It's just weird for a guy to sound like a 20-something hooker in heat - a female 20-something hooker in heat. And second, my gaydar is pretty damn good, and it's pinging loud and clear with those pix. Even if I wanted to see sexy pictures of men, I like adult men, not boys. And while I love my gay friends dearly, they don't turn me on. So use pictures of bisexual men or straight guys, please. Last, but not least, you might want to check your name generator, because your boy pix are coming up with names like Fawn and Candi. Although come to think of it, those are probably perfect stage names for Himbo Whores.

2 comments:

c.rooney said...

I saw your blog address on the lawritersgroup.com mailing list. Just stopping by to say hello.

Kathleen Bradean said...

Hi! *waves back*
I don't post to that list often, but I do lurk.