The Next Big Thing

Forget vampires. Forget shapeshifters. Forget wizards.

I've had a vision, and it tells me that the next big public obsession will be sun signs.

Brace yourself now for the cheesy bar pick-up lines you know are coming. Oh, they'll probably be updated with a hint of Japanese culture, like a wasabi stinger, but underneath, they'll be the same pathetic attempts at conversation. Repeat after me in your best unctuous swinger's voice: "Hey baby, I'm a Libra, Type A. What's your sign and blood type?"

Back when people were very into the zodiac and the Age of Aquarius, I read the book House of Scorpio. I don't remember much about the story other than it was a mystery, and in that world, everyone typified their sign. I thought it was so cool. I'd love to read it now and see just how trashy it really was. (Apparently I'm not the only person who remembers this novel and would like to reread it. I found a discussion forum, believe it or not.)

I think zodiacs and horoscopes will catch on again and be the next really big thing, so dust off your charts, align Uranus with a pert Moon, get laid at the House of the Rising Sun, and pound out a novel about Leos ascending and Virgos in flagrante delicto.

Trust me on this one, darlings. Would a Capricorn lie to you? Only if there was a profit to be made.