Sunday, September 03, 2006

Good Luck Charms

I must have a natural homing instinct for these kinds of things. Our tour guide in Pompeii never mentioned the proliferation of penis carvings outside buildings, but I found quite a few. It turned into a scavenger hunt for me, which made the whole Pompeii experience much more entertaining. Since our tour guide pretended not to hear my question about the carvings, I had to look up information when we got home. A penis was a good luck charm, (No doubt. Being female in those days sucked.), or to ward off evil (Beware, I wield the dick of death!).

I wondered if these also served as directional arrows. (Hangs right, straight to head - er - ahead.)

Oh look- wine, penises, and food! Talk about a full service restaurant. Or maybe it was a craftsman's shop. The finest in goblets, cutlery, and cock.

I know that the Romans loved their erotic art, and during the excavation of Pompeii, archeologist found quite a bit. We asked our surly tour guide where we could view some of the collection. (Many of the adults on the tour sidled close to hear her answer, but tried very hard to act as if they weren't listening. Pussies.)After giving us a withering glance, she curtly told us that it was housed outside of the main area in a building that was only open on the weekends. Curses! Foiled! I would have liked to have seen prancing Priapus and satyrs knocking it out with nymphs. That was probably my only chance. I don't think I'll ever go to Pompeii again. It was interesting, and worth the visit, but it was touristy as hell, hot, muggy, and I broke out in hives from the volcanic ash in the dust. It isn't a true vacation unless I have a violent allergic reaction to something. I guess I should have brought along my penis good luck charm to ward off evil dust devils.

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