Thursday, December 27, 2007

Submissive Men

I've had a lot of private comments on my post about women and BDSM - and some public ones too. I was a little surprised because that was a bit of a rant - just me expressing my frustration with men who can not accept that a rational woman might choose to have rough sex. Apparently a number of other people are fed up with it too.

In that rant I mentioned how men who don't approve of women enjoying BDSM sex tend to completely ignore the idea of submissive men, and then I went on to ignore them in my rant. The specific conversations that pissed me off were about women, so that's where my mind was at, but it seems only fair to give equal time to the guys.

I only know two submissive men. So any conclusions I have here are based on a very limited sample size and colored by my perceptions, but... Submissive men aren't all that different from submissive women. Don't think for a second that means I find them less than masculine. Submissive men, including the gay ones, are still men. The similarities between submissive men and women are that they're educated (sometimes advanced degrees), have a good sense of humor, are mature in their sense of sexuality, and have above average intelligence.

Again, this is based on a small sample of the population, but it seems to me that men who embrace their submissive side must have a very secure sense of their masculinity. They don't seem to feel that it's threatened by the act of submission. If you're a submissive male, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this.


Amanda Earl said...

i agree with you wholeheartedly. submission does not take away from one's masculinity, femininity or strength in any way.

i recently read on Lust Bites, one of the best blogs around, about Stephen Elliott, the guy who wrote My Girlfriend Comes to the City and Beats Me Up. he's an openly submissive guy. and a literate one and a highly interesting man.

submissives are sexy ;) what does gender have to do with anything? ;)

happy new year to you! and thanks for your great blog. i'm not in touch with ERWA barely at all anymore, so it's good to keep up with the goings on and thoughts of friends from that group.

Kathleen Bradean said...

It's funny that you should mention him. His My Girlfriend... was the first book I reviewed for Erotica Revealed, and I gave it a glowing review. Happy Baby sits on my to be read pile (along with about a hundred other books).