A couple posts ago I talked about a story that wasn't working for me. Amanda suggested I try writing out a few paragraphs to see how it feels. I did that last night and was amazed - not that the story got any easier to tell, but how a seemingly small shift can mean such big changes.
The original - Japanese rope bondage demonstration, 3rd person from the audience POV
Current - Japanese rope bondage demonstration, 1st person from the fetish model's POV.
The events of the story have not changed. It begins the same. It ends the same. But between, it's a whole different world. You wouldn't think moving from the audience onto the stage would make such a dramatic shift, but it does. The story moves from voyeurism to exhibitionism. Think about the dynamics of what turns a person on. TV has made voyeurs of us all, so I think most people can relate to being turned on by something they see, but we're all made to feel bad about the way our bodies look and about being sexual beings that most people find the idea of exposing themselves (literally or figuratively) overwhelming - and not in a good way. So the focus of the story goes from something most people can relate to something most people fear. Can you feel the shift? So much changes that even though the "facts" remain the same, the emotional impact of the events is completely different. I'll have to draw the reader into understanding why it's a turn-on. That means getting much deeper into the MC's mindset, which is why I think I have to go to 1st person voice.
Hopefully, this will work, because I promised this story to someone. (Note to self: stop promising something you haven't written yet)