I Should Be Writing

I should be writing today. It's been a while since I've worked on a
story. Oh, I've done editing, and kicked around ideas, but I have yet
to yield to that space where a story consumes me and I have to let it
flow out.

I'm used to these lulls in writing now. Once upon a time, it put me on the edge of panic. How could I not have a story? I always had a story. But that was before I wrote them down. Now I accept the ebb and flow of creativity. If I don't have something, it's time to recharge. After a while, I getantsy . How much recharging could I need? But even that's a good sign, like a scab itching. That means it's
almost time to start again.

It's also time to think about my options. Should I look through the calls for submissions? Something there might inspire me. Or should I concentrate on a novel? I have three in my mental queue. There's Vampires! In Space!, another YA
novel, and then there's the one that worries me. This may sound strange, but I know I have a novel that has break through appeal. The two short stories I've done with these characters (Georgie and Jack from the Booty Call Caper and Georgie Cracks the Case) have already gotten a lot of attention. If I wanted to write a commercially
successful erotic novel, and if I wanted to be on the novel-a-year track, this would be the way to go. But...

I don't fear success. I've had some. Just enough to be gratifying. Do I want more?
What I don't want is to be stuck in the novel-a-year, the-same-thing-but-different rut that writers with the big houses get sucked into. I enjoy my eclectic mix of science fiction, lesbian, gay, het, contemporary, BDSM, vanilla, horror stories. I like being able to go to my publishers with, "This is what I've got," rather than, "Here's what you told me to write." And unlike many writers, I have no real desire to make my living off my writing. I'm okay with it being a mildly lucrative hobby. Plus, and this is a big one for me, I like being able to finish a novel before I pitch it. Yes, that's all wrong. No one who isserious is supposed to write on spec, but the freedom to write at my own pace and tell the stories I want to means a lot to me.

So even though I have the complete novel in my head, and I've already written about 40,000 words of it, I'm not sure I'll turn to Jack and Georgie first. Not that I'm making any decisions right now. I don't have to. Because even though I should
be, I'm not writing.