Jean Roberta's answer

Jean writes:

>The question:

>Do you have a dark story lurking in you? Is there a tale so edgy you won't
touch it even if you thought it up? Erotica is probably the most self-policed
genre out there. If you slapped the label literature on your work, would you
feel free to go there? Go where? How bad is your bad self?


Pretty bad, by legal standards! (And regarding some "obscene" topics, Canadian
and U.S. authorities seem to have parallel views.)

Oh yes, literature. Some of the classics are quite edgy already, but they're
not as explicit as they could be. As an English instructor, I've sometimes fantasized about how Hamlet really feels about his mother, and imagine him seguing from rage at her for marrying Hamlet's evil uncle to incestuous lust.

The Greek comedy Lysistrata (circa 450 BCE) ends with the promise of a feast and an orgy between the Athenians and the Spartans featuring "Peace" (actually a beautiful naked woman) - because everyone wants her. It would be fun to write that scene, which
would probably be more over-the-top than "dark." (This could include some cool lesbian action, another ancient Greek discovery, at least in literature)

Probably the darkest scene I've imagined is seeing or being a woman riding a bound man for the purpose of conceiving a baby while choking the man to death. Before this final act, he would have been whipped and branded, and given false promises of freedom in exchange for saying the right things. In this way, he would have gained
some perspective on his own dishonest, irrational treatment of women.

This fantasy kept me relatively sane before I could escape from an abusive
husband in the late 1970s. On December 30, 2006, he died in worse circumstances than I ever wished on him. Attending his funeral and sincerely wishing him peace in the afterlife brought me some closure.

I still think a realistic story based on that revenge fantasy would probably be unpublishable - and definitely wouldn't be called "literature" by the critics, no matter what label I might slap on it.

- Jean Roberta,

author of Obsession, 14 stories of dark erotica from Eternal Press:

www.eternalpress.ca/obsessionnew.html

and
contributor to href="http://www.amazon.com/Haunted-Hearths-Sapphic-Shades-Lesbian/dp/1590211626/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1214143025&sr=8-1">Haunted
Hearths and Sapphic Shades: Lesbian Ghost Stories (see

www.myspace.com/hauntedhearths)

and Best Fantastic Erotica:

href="http://www.amazon.com/Best-Fantastic-Erotica-Cecilia-Tan/dp/1885865600">www.amazon.com/Best-Fantastic-Erotica-Cecilia-Tan/dp/1885865600

and Lipstick On Her Collar (lesbian erotica):

href="http://www.amazon.com/Lipstick-Collar-Other-Tales-Lesbian/dp/1576122980">www.amazon.com/Lipstick-Collar-Other-Tales-Lesbian/dp/1576122980

and Coming Together: With Pride (see

www.eroticanthology.com.withpride.htm).



www.goodsturdyjeans.blogspot.com

http://Lizardlez.LiveJournal.com



Reviewer for "Erotica Revealed:" www.eroticarevealed.com.


Coming July 1, 2008: "Sex Is All Metaphors" in "Smutters Lounge," Erotica Readers and Writers Association (www.erotica-readers.com).







KB
writes: So I'm not the only one who thought Hamlet had it bad for his
mother! Yes, literature cloaks a lot of pretty dark stuff with euphemism. The problem I have with that is that to unlock the meaning, most people have to take a college level course that discusses it. And it's not as if once you figure one story out that you then have the key to every book, because different writers in different times used other ways to get their meaning across. Even Aciman's Call Me By Your Name, a
modern book, doesn't use direct language until the last chapters. Until then, he's shooting the scene through a soft filter and sheer curtains from half a mile away.

Beth Wylde

Beth says:

So far I haven't found anything so taboo I won't write it. LOL The time may come but it hasn't yet. I've done f/f and m/m and straight m/f erotica plus my first m/f/f/m menage just came outlast month from Phaze and I have my first f/f BDSM story in the works. Not much bothers me or makes me shudder. I've gotten dark before with a graphic rape scene(not meant to turn the reader on) and still got some heavy criticism that it was too graphic but the story was pushing me to tell it that way and thats what I did. I guess that makes me a bad girl.

Beth Wylde

http://beth-wylde.tripod.com

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/bethwylde/




KB adds: Beth's discussion list is great if you're into Romantic Erotica.It's an active list with losts of snippets and discussion. I reviewed her Big 4-Oh! for Erotica Revealed this month.

Penn & Teller's Bullshit

If you have Showtime, I urge you to watch this week's episode of Bullshit with Penn & Teller. This has been a consistently good series, adding a much needed voice of reason and a cold splash of reality on many subjects. This week, they take on the war on porn.

While their show centered on visual porn, much of the arguments have been used for and against written erotic works. The US Government has long tried to censor or ban works that offended the sensibilities of a few. They continue to this day by prosecuting text only websites that contain stories local and Federal government officials have deemed to be pornography. While I found the stories on that site offensive - and I'm not easily offended - the fact that the government silences the
discussion of ideas by using the threat of legal action to bludgeon citizens into submission angers me.

Unfortunately, the show wasn't long enough for Penn & Teller to explore all the
ramification of what the anti-porn people said, but one of the most offensive ideas I took away from their arguments was that men are incapable of distinguishing fantasy from reality. One woman claimed watching it led to rape and child pornography. She couldn't prove it, of course, but we were supposed to just take her word for it, because she believed it. My bullshit detector went of big time on that. I'm sure most of the men I know use porn. I'm equally sure none of them are rapist. Why?
Because they are decent human beings. They use their brains. They candistinguished
between right and wrong. They aren't violent. They may have sexual urges, but that doesn't mean that they act on them. Watching sexual acts doesn't suddenly rip away those fundamentalcharacter traits and make men into sociopaths. Come on. Men don't need to have their libidos repressed any more than women do. And this is what it comes down to. Repression of libido as the ultimate government/church method of
controlling people. It's more subtle on men than it is on women, but it exists. And frankly, I'm sick of men being treated like knuckle-draggers who are only kept in line by laws. They deserve more credit than that.

Ashley Lister's Confession ;)

Dammit Kathleen,

You always ask such probing questions!

As you know, the major taboos in erotic fiction are incest, necrophilia,
paedophilia and bestiality. (This sounds like the opening to a very bad
joke - but it isn't). Speaking personally none of those deviations float my
boat so self-censoring against them has never been an issue. I find it hard
to write about something being sexually exciting when I'm not able to engage
any personal enthusiasm for the subject.

Does this mean that my self-censor is so ingrained I'm not even aware that
it's operating?

Whilst interviewing UK swingers for my most recent book I spoke with a lot
of people who have an automatic sanction against "the three Ps of
recreational sex," (no pain, pissing or poo). However, whilst we were
discussing these forbidden subjects, the majority conceded to enjoying a
little pain when the mood/partner/situation was right and the other "Ps"
were not wholly ruled out on every occasion.

So, in short, I don't think I have a really "dark" story lurking inside me.
I think most of my erotic fiction is as pure and white as the driven snow
(or, at least, as white as the aftermath of a bukkake party).

Best wishes,

Ashley Lister
www.ashleylister.co.uk



KB
Adds: Ashley is a fellow reviewer on Erotica Revealed ,
author of many books, and a monthly columnist for the Erotica
Readers and Writer's Association website.

Amanda Earl has something to add

Writing labelled "literature" has dealt with every illicit and illegal activity from drugs (Confessions of an English Opium Eater by Thomas De Quincey), to non consensual sex (Tess of the D'Ubervilles by Thomas Hardy), underage sex (Lolita by Nabokov), incest (The Cure for Death by Lightning by Gail Anderson-Dargatz) to name only a few that spring to mind from contemporary and older literary periods. And I haven't said a word about Shakespeare or the Bible. What was once banned as scandalous pornography (Lady Chatterley's Lover by D.H. Lawrence; erotic stories of Anaïs Nin) is now studied by academics as literature.

What is claimedabout the difference between erotica as a genre and mainstream literary fiction is that in the latter the above topics do not serve to titillate or arouse the reader. Do they not? I think that's just a dishonest fiction that society likes to tell itself so as to avoid dealing with sex when it isn't pretty or romantic. I admit to reading literary works and being aroused by the themes and the writing, but also wanting more graphic portrayals of sex. That's one of the reasons that Canadian writer Russell Smith wrote "Diana: A diary in the second person," a novel about a woman's desire to be dominated. Smith is a fairly well known Canadian
mainstream literary writer of award winning fiction. He has said that he has become tired of fiction that pans to the fireplace during sex and that this frustration was also something he experienced about his own writing.

I can't disguise my erotica as literature because I'm too brazen about it. I write to arouse my readers and myself by means of stories that depict unbridled lust for the body and the mind. This means all my characters are over 18, sex is always consensual and not between family members. Would I like to explore underage sex, incest and rape in my erotica? Yes. Because these are subjects that make for extremely powerful conflict and tension.

To answer the questions specifically:

I have many dark stories lurking in me, involving such fantastical notions as devil worship, sexual predators from Mars, bestiality, rape, incest, death and taxes. ok maybe not taxes ;).

I don't have a bad self because I believe everyone has stories of this nature inside them, taboo fantasies etc. There is nothing unhealthy or bad about having fantasies. When they become unhealthy and dangerous is when a person can't distinguish between fantasy and reality. It is not through the reading of literature that one becomes a danger to society but by repression and serious mental disorder.

Yet government censors continue in this day and age unfortunately to ban works of art that deal with sexual fantasy. Look at the terrible piece of legislative shit Canada's wretched right wing minority government is trying to turn into law: the denial of public funding to movies that
government bureaucrats consider inappropriate

It's a horrifying time to be a creator of art. I never thought my country would stoop so low.

Alas I'm not currently writing or publishing works that deal with my darkest fantasies. Not because I think it's wrong to have them or to disseminate them, but because there's simply no legitimate publisher who will publish them and if I post this kind of thing on a blog, it will either be taken down or I will be branded as a dangerous sexual deviant. And yet there's a part of me that wonders about the notion of posterity. So I probably should be writing about these fantasies.

However even responding to this post makes me twitch a bit because whoever googles me will discover, if they didn't know already, what kind of unflowery fantasies I have. Or maybe...just maybe...I want them to know ;)

Amanda Earl
amanderotica.blogspot.com. Her latest story,
"Love Lies Bleeding" about a man who finds menstruating women sexy is on her blog.


KB adds: Amanda has never been afraid to go anywhere that I can tell. Love Lies Bleeding is a good story, so pop over and read it.

Rachel Kramer Bussel answers

Rachel says:

I definitely have a few darker stories - that's
what pseudonyms are for! I write most of my work under my own name, but
when writing something of, say, the Daddy/girl scenario or rape
fantasies or something else I feel is extreme, I find it easier to work
under a pseudonym. Often these are topics I never had considered
writing about and have mixed feelings about, but am drawn into writing
erotica about them for whatever reason. So it's not so much a matter of
literary merit, because I feel that some of these stories, which I am
working on now, are some of my best work, but uncertainty about forever
having my name tied to them. That being said, I'm writing a couple of
rape fantasy type stories and we'll see how they turn out; obviously it
could be a big disaster. I do think there's something to an idea when
it unnerves me, and sometimes I ignore those ideas and go for safer
topics, but when I can push myself, that's usually where the more
interesting stories come out. You always have the option to not publish
your work or use a pseudonym; I think going with that initial writing
impulse is worthwhile.

Rachel Kramer Bussel
Editor, Dirty Girls: Erotica for Women


KB adds:

Rachel's name may be familiar to you if you read erotica. She's edited many anthologies, and runs the wonderful In The Flesh reading series in New York. (An LA version just started last month)

Her answer reminds me of a great conversation on the Erotica Readers and
Writer's Association writer's list where we talked about rape fantasy
stories. Someone had an alternate term that I wish I could recall that captured the essence of the fantasy while removing the politically sensitive word. But whatever you call it, rape fantasy is a taboo subject. Women are still being told what they're allowed to fantasize about.

No, I Didn't Forget. The Next Question.

I know it's been a month since my last question to erotica writers about our craft. I didn't forget. I have an excuse. You know how it is when a terrible, awful, horrible, shouldn't even think of it story pops into your head? Something so transgressive and flat out wrong, like the Night Porter where sensuality and brutality converge into train wreck eroticism, and yet so compelling that you can't forget it. Crash is a good example too, but since I'm thinking about real torture, not BDSM play (yes, I went there), the Night Porter seems like a better example. This is when I have the sick puppy talk with myself. But damn, talk about temptation with a capital T. I'm babbling. But this brings me to my current question:

Do you have a dark story lurking in you? Is there a tale so edgy you won't touch it even if you thought it up? Erotica is probably the most self-policed genre out there. If you slapped the label literature on your work, would you feel free to go there? Go where? How bad is your bad self?

Action!

Action sequences is one place where film is kicks text's butt. I
thought I was close to the climax of my story the other night, because
the visuals running through my mind were pretty quick. Unfortunately,
what would be one minute of action of the screen takes a long time to
write out. So it could take me days to work through this. I guess I've
been anticipating the end for so long that I'm getting impatient.
That's dangerous though, because it's temptingt o rush it. Grrr. Back to plodding along, but not making it seem plodding on the page.

It's Been A Busy Week

Los Angeles has been hopping with literary events this week.

Thursday, I had to choose between three events - the Lambda literary Awards (I had nothing nominated. It would have simply been a social night for me), James Buchanan's reading at A Different Light in West Hollywood (just down the street from where the
Lambdas were being held) and the first Los Angeles event for the In The Flesh reading series. I choose In The Flesh (with James' blessing)

In The Flesh has been a New York City institution for several years, featuring some of the best erotica writers working today. Hosted and organized by Rachel Kramer Bussel (of cupcake and many erotica anthologies fame), In The Flesh is an important venue for erotica writers to promote their books. I was thrilled to see that a Los
Angeles version was starting. Readings are difficult in LA. Unless you're a best-selling author, Barnes and Nobles and Borders don't want you (and they won't touch erotica readings). Skylight Books has a great reading series, but again, they
don't reach out to lesser-know writers. A Different Light is incredibly supportive, but they feature GLBT writers. So where do you read if you write hetero smut? Nowhere - until now.

The reading was held in Venice at Freddy and Eddies. This store is such a great space. It feels very personal and homey. Even the dungeon sex toy room had kind of a harem, softer vibe to it instead of being hard core, which made it a comfortable space to explore the fucking machines, floggers, restraints, and paddles. They have an outdoor patio where they hold the readings. There were over 30 people there, which is a great turnout for a first event. I got to meet Maxim Jakubowski of Mammoth Book of Erotica fame. A very nice gentleman. He is largely responsible for the rise of literary erotica. He put it in print long before anyone thought there was such a thing, much less that it deserved to be published. I also got to meet Stan Kent of the wonderful Shoe Leather series. Rachel Kramer Bussel read, as did the LA host, Carly (I have her name written down somewhere. I'll add it later), and a few other people. It was a wonderful night. I wish this reading series a lot of success. (and hope to be part of it)

That was Thursday. Saturday, I went to BEA - BookExpo America. I worked the Man Love Romance booth, but had a chance to explore both halls of this monster event. I chatted with the EPIC people (Electronic Publishing) since I'm a member. The Torquere booth was nearby, so I spent some time with them and was thrilled to see how many people stopped by their booth. Torquere and MLR were the only GLBT publishers I saw. The Torquere and the Man Love Romance booths (which shared space with Aspen Mountain
Press) were the only electronic publishers there, which was really sad considering that Amazon had a huge Kindle display in the South Hall. There should have been more synergy going on there, but tried as I might, I couldn't find anyone at the Kindle booth who was interested in talking e-book publishers or EPIC with me. Hello? Amazon? Wake up. Your product is useless without content.

I'm impressed with the energy of Laura Baumbach and Deena (I can never remember her last name) from Man Love and Lorna and Shawn from Torquere who stayed on their feet all day. I'm exhausted from one day of working the booth, and work it we did. When I toured the two huge halls, most booths I passed were manned by sullen, bored people who sat behind their table displays. Not us. We had one person near the aisle, and if
someone passed and made eye contact, we did our best to draw them closer to listen to our pitch. Most did. We gave away a ton of promotional swag.

My best score of the day - a literary agent from New York was passing by. She sort of paused and made flitting eye contact. I lured her over. She said that publishers were asking her where they could find erotica writers. I didn't laugh in her face, but sheesh, Google is your friend, right? I suppose they want us to come crawling
to them instead of spending two seconds to look up ERWA or individal sites. The problem is that most agents treat erotica writers like scum. If your site flat out says you won't represent erotica writers, don't whine that you have no erotica writers as clients. But I was on my best behavior. I said, "You found us." I made sure she got the disk with sample chapters from the members of the Man Love Romance
promotions co-op. Although an agent seems to be the holy grail of most writers, at this point an agent would have to work pretty damn hard to convince me she'd be of any use. Many erotica writers have expressed the same sentiments. Once people are forced to work without your help and manage to make it anyway, it's really hard to convince them that suddenly they should hand you 10% of their earnings and then be grateful that you'll disdain to take it.

Today, I hope to write. I'm getting close to the end of my first draft of my second try at Personal Demons. (Does that make it the first draft once removed?) I'd really like to wrap it by tonight, but I don't want to rush the ending either. This story has been in my head for over three years. It started as one book, but by the fifth chapter, I realized I had way too much story for one book, so I decided to do a trilogy. Now it's almost over. I don't know if I should be happy or depressed.

Another Long Weekend Long Gone

You would think with a three-day weekend that I'd be able to come up
with something pithy to say, especially since I haven't made an entry
for so long.

Nope.

I spent all weekend working on the last Chaos Magic novel. Yes, I wrote a first draft this winter. However, after all that work, I figured out that it was the wrong story
to tell. So I started over again. Worked like a demon this weekend, from 8 in the morning until 10 at night. From chapter 3 to chapter 15. It's falling into place like it was pre -written and I'm just plucking it out of the air. Which is total crap, of course. Before I wrote the first version and went wrong, this was the story I was tinkering with. This is the story I told myself every day on my long commutes back and forth to work. So why wasn't this the story I wrote when I first sat down to the computer? There's a great literary term for that sort of writer's trick - being an idiot. But never fear. I'm writing so smoothly now that I look brilliant by comparison. (Comparison to myself doesn't really count though, does it?)

May 21st, I'm guest blogging at Torquere Live Journal!

May 21st, I'll be guest blogging at Torquere Press Live Journal


Drop by for a Chaos Magic short story, SPAM poetry, and a contest!

On Being The Red Queen

I feel like the Red Queen from Through the Looking Glass. I'm running as fast as I can just to keep up with where I was.

I'm always off my pace when I get back from Saints and Sinners, but this
year I have so much else going on that I'm worse off than usual. Or better off. Love Runes came out, so I'm working on promoting it. I will be hosting Torquere's Live Journal on the 21st, so drop by if you can. I'll probably give away a copy of Love Runes, so drop on by. (Now I have to figure out a contest...) Haunted Hearth andSapphic Shades was just released by Lethe Press this week. I'm planning on going to James Buchanan's reading at A Different Light this Thursday, and all Saturday, I'm working theManLove Romance booth at BookExpo America in the LA Convention Center. (which means being perky for hours. oy.)

All of that hasn't left me much time to blog about my Saints and Sinners experience, which is a shame. Aside from meeting Becky Cochran and Timothy Lambert, who were high on my "to meet" list (they were wonderful. buy their books!) I got to spend some time with friend Trebor Healey, and Greg Herren (how should I describe our relationship? Friendly acquaintances, maybe. Greg and I don't use the word friend lightly.)

Trebor and Amie Evans co-edited an anthology called Queer and Catholic. I went to the reading at the Faubourg Marginy Bookstore. It was packed. The owner, Otis, kindly hosts a reading every year. Afterwards, we went across the street to the Praline Connection for dinner with some very interesting people. I wish I could remember the name of the Bed and Breakfast two of the gentlemen down at my end of the table ran. I'll have to ask Trebor if he knows, because I'd like to give them a plug. They were great dinner companions, and I had a feeling from the way they talked about how special their guests were that they're great hosts. Another highlight of that evening was meeting one of the founding mothers (?) of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, Sister So Am I (That's the short version of his name). It's like meeting your past and realizing it's still vital and moving and happening all around you. Very cool moment.

I've been hemming and hawing about writing a mystery novel for years. Now I have the characters and the caper, and my publisher is interested in seeing the novel, so I sat down poolside with GregHerren (author of many detective novels set in New Orleans. Wonderful books. When you're buying Timothy James Beck books, pick up a GregHerren novel too.) and talked about writing mysteries. Since mine is going to be a light romantic comedy with a mystery, Greg is pretty sure I can seat-of-the pants it. That's good, because I am not an outline kind of writer. Greg is kind of a sarcastic cheerleader, but somehow that works for me. I fret about handling a mystery, he rolls his eyes, takes a puff of his cigarette, exhales slowly, gives me 'that' look, and says, "Darlin'." That's really all the pep talk I need.

Love Runes is Out! (Cross post)

Love Runes is out today!

The second book in the Chaos Magic series is out in e-book and in print today. Sam and Hector - what can I say? They've always had a troubled relationship, but Sam's immaturity is wearing on Hector. It only gets worse when Hector finds out that Sam is paying the Goddess of Eternal Youth to keep him looking, and acting, like a nineteen year-old.
Buy It Here.





The original Chaos Magic is also being released in print today! I love the new cover.

Some More Pictures

More Pictures Fomr the Cocktail Reception

More Saints and Sinners

We arrived Thursday and spent most of the time exploring the corner of the quarter around our hotel since we hadn't been over there. It was far away from the madness of Bourbon Street. Quiet, beautiful, and had that funky/artsy neighborhood feeling.

(I love doorways, and New Orleans has some great ones, so you'll see plenty of pictures of them in my blog.)





Friday, I checked into the conference and was greeted warmly by Paul Willis who actually recognized me. With all this man does, that he took the time to do that was so sweet. After I
checked in, I hung around in the lobby. Met some people I didn't know before and caught up with friends. Then it was off to master classes. I was very sorry to hear that Jim Grimsley fell ill and couldn't teach his master class this year. I always get a lot out of his sessions. However, the one on characters was great, and I finally met Becky Cochran. I always joke that even when we're in the same room together, I somehow miss her. This time, she was sitting right in front of me, and I STILL would have missed that it was her if her writing partner, Timothy Lambert, hadn't pointed her out. I'm so glad that I met her, and him. They were incredibly generous with their time. This is why I love meeting other writers. I get so energized by our conversations.






Saints and Sinners is a huge task. The woman Paul Willis is with in this picture from the opening night cocktail party is his assistant Karissa (I hope I got her name right) I have a feeling he couldn't put this on without her, because she is non-stop energy and devotion. But
she will take time to sit and chat with people, and she's truly interested in who they are and what they're doing. Paul and Karissa are phenomenal people. And on top of it all they do this as volunteers. That's right - they work their butts off for no pay. Simply amazing. Oops - must also mention the volunteers from No AIDS Task Force. They work so hard that the weekend flows smoothly (or it seems to). Every person I met was helpful, nice, and seemed to really enjoy helping out.

Back From NOLA

I walked into the house about two and a half hours ago, so this will be a short entry. Like most of my trips, I start on the last day....

Overall - as usual - Saints and Sinners Literary Conference was fantastic. My reading from Haunted Hearths went really well. (It helps that its a funny piece and lends itself well to performance.) I had a great meeting with my publisher. I met Vincent Diamond and Shanna Germain (it's late, I may have the spelling of their names wrong) both whom are great erotica writers.

But about the last day - we ran into friend Trebor by pure coincidence as we had our morning espressos at Club Envie. Then we went to our usual praline shop. I was sad to see my favorite fried gator on a stick place on Decatur was closed. (Favorite not because I'd eat it, but I loved their sign.) Then we wandered around Royal and went into a bunch of mask shops and bought a really cool leather one that we are having shipped out to us because we were afraid it would be ruined in our luggage. As usual, I was feeling a little low about Saints and Sinners being over as we headed back to our hotel to check out - which was when one of those "Only in New Orleans "and "I couldn't make this stuff up if I Tried," moment happened. We walked right into the tail end of a jazz funeral for a local jazz musician who was killed by a car earlier that week. It led us right to the front steps of our hotel. Somehow, it felt like a fitting send-off.

Wanton Delight In Three Way

Before I head off to New Orleans for Saints and Sinners, a little head's up. My story Wanton Delight in Three Way will be up on ErosMonthly.Com soon. (I checked this morning, and it's still last month's issue.)

I wrote this very short story for a specific call for submissions, but the anthology was never published. What is one to do with a 1500 word story? It's far to short for most calls, and I didn't feel like padding it out. So the poor thing sat , unloved, for almost two years. Then, viola! a call for short, short stories! I'm glad that this is seeing the light of day. It's so frothy that it's almost foam, but I like it.

First Anniversary of Erotica Revealed!

It's the first anniversary of Erotica Revealed. Come by and see the updated website and browse through the current and archived reviews. It's been an interesting year. What do we want? Literate Smut! When do we want it? Now!

Okay. Bwhahahahahahhahahahahaha

Normally, I wouldn't think of betraying privacy by sharing the fan mail
I get from guys, but I'm pretty sure this was sent out as SPAM. The
comments in bold are mine.


Hello Pretty Lady: (He must like really thin women, because this is the picture in the profile he mailed this to:)





i just wanted to let you know the kind of person I am, I am a MAN (Thank
god you put it in caps so I wouldn't miss the fact that you're male.
Sorry, I mean a MAN. You only use upper case I when you're talking
about your gender. The rest of the time it's a lower case i, indicating
to me that you are a sexual submissive. I don't usually do this for
strangers, but since you're a sub, I will treat you like one from now
on.) that is in need of real and perfect love, I need a WOMAN (Gottcha. You're not into
guys. What was your first clue I was female? Couldn't have been my
picture. Must be the name on my profile. I have a similar profile under
a male name too, just in case you decide to broaden your sexual
horizons. Of course, my male profile will turn you down too.)
that can take me through, see , I have been hurt so many times by different WOMAN (Were
these, like, Amazon women, and that's why you need to put it in caps?) and wouldn't want that to happen to me again.....(Then you're talking to the wrong woman, because I would most definitely want to hurt you.) thats the reason why I said that I need love.... (It's rentable, buddy. I hear the minimum rate for a decent pro is $200/hour) I am far from a millionaire (Yeah, I live about 1000 miles away from Warren Buffet too. I hear ya.) and am not out for anything but love from someone. Having someone that loves
you and supports you in your life through good and bad times and won’t give up on you is what I am looking for. (I'm just looking for a big cock.Whatcha packin' babe? And don't give me that measurement in AOL inches.) Honesty and trust are what makes a relationship work. (I prefer bondage and discipline.) I prefer to watch a movie or attend the theater rather than read a novel. (Dude - have you read ANY of my posts? I'm a writer who doesn't watch TV or go to the movies.) I also enjoy travel, experiencing different geographies (Is "different geography" like the Risk game board? What the fuck is Irkust anyway? I mean -has anyone heard of this place? And don't even get me started onthat magical land bridge between Australia and Asia Minor) and people (Okay. I'll let my freinds use you as a sex toy.) , I do not smoke.(I do. Not only will I exhale in your face as you kneel before me, but I will grind my smouldering butt into the back of your hand. And you will thank me for it, boy.) I do drink
on social occasions. (Then get me a fucking vodka martini already. You're a shitty slave if I have to tell you that.) i graduated from OXFORD UNIVERSITY AT UK... (Wow. Didn't they teach grammar there?)Bcos i was brough up by mom there...... well Concerning sexuality, I am not a promiscuous MAN. (You won't get a chance once I put a chastity belt on you.) My desire is to be sexually faithful to the WOMAN I marry. (Whoa! Slow down there subby boy. Who said I'd marry you? I'm only looking for a good lay. This is a community property state. Screw that divorce shit. I'll just take off your collar when I'm done with you.) If two people love (Love? Again, we're talking at cross purposes here. I'll use you, but love? Not bloody likely. I threw in a British term for you since you went to OXFORD. See? I can be nice. Don't count on it though.) each other and will communicate what they like and do not like about their partner's sexual behavior, (I find a crop to be an excellent facilitator of communication. How do you feel about CBT - cock and ball torture? Don't like it? Tough shit. Tell it to the ballgag.) I believe many problems can be resolved. Moreover, I am currently working on my own cos (this is a word? Oxford should recall your diploma - with prejudice.) i had to try something else after i lost almost all i had to my last relationship (She rolled you in an alleyway? That's what you get for hiring cheap hookers. I'm telling you, $200/hr is the minimum you want to pay.) so am antiques dealer (Is that what you tell people at parties because you're too embarrassed to say gigolo? Just wait until I make you tell people about your last punishment enema.) ...... and i always travile to many country (What a coincidence! I travel too! How do you feel about being kenneled in the luggage compartment? Because I'm thinking now that you'd make a great puppyboy. I hope you're housebroken.) toantiquess business trip (At Oxford, they would call what belongs here a full stop. We call it a period.) well if you are reallyintrested in me (That depends. How do you look in a leather jock strap? Send me nude photos so I can judge for myself. I want to see at least one hard-on shot with a standard ruler next to it.) you can send me ur yahoo id so that we can able to chat (You sent me an e-mail, doofus, so you know how to get hold of me. You better be really hot, because stupid men, sorry, MEN, don't hold my interest for verylong.) and know more about each other ok (I think I already know everything about you I need to.) ...... send me ur yahoo id. Or u can add me this is my yahoo id (XXXX_XXXXXXX ) U can add me now cos i am online......... Hope to chat with u soon ... (Hope springs eternal, hon. Good luck with that. Are you sure you don't have $20M you need to spirit out of Nigeria?)


That was too much fun. I'll let you know if I get the cock pictures.